i miss china.

i miss thailand.

update

i have a headache.

and adam has no home (incase you were wondering).

christmas exchange.

time has been slipping away, and i have been sleeping. and slipping. and working. and thinking a lot about painting.

I've decided to try and paint xmas presents this year, although I'm still contemplating whether or not that's a fair trade for the already-purchased camera that will be sitting under the tree for me christmas day, 08. finally.
I've never been much a fan of knowing what to expect christmas morning. but when i say that outloud i feel guilty for even caring. I still hang on the notion that gifts should always come from the heart, and i guess, for some reason, as a surprise. Not much about Christmas is all the surprising in this day and age though. I don't know. I guess my point is that giving someone something that they really want doesn't mean its not from the heart. That's what i've realized. No, it doesn't mean that at all - I think my parents both knew that this camera has been a long time coming for me and for my dad, offering to "invest" in my "talent" in beijing, was too overwhelming. I feel guilty taking things for free, (not to say that I don't take things for free, but not free from the self-inflicted guilt and punishment that comes along with each selfless gesture). But Christmas seems to be the only time where its justified. Or at least I feel okay about it. I feel that at the ripe age of twenty-two, I should be able to afford my own camera, and in retrospect of my lifestyle the past year, or even six months, I probably could have afforded to buy myself one had i budgeted myself properly.

A trip to Beijing, the Olympics, and a four day getaway in Thailand, a brand new camera and potential trip to the caribbean in February. I feel undeserving of what has come to me this year. I don't know how i will reciprocate, I know I can't, but I want to try.

I guess i know myself and know enough to realize that my gift-buying abilities are sub-par, and that i've only ever been satisfied in putting my own time and effort into meaningful gifts. I really want that. There are probably half a dozen "chicken soup for the golfer's soul, for the mother & daughter's soul, for the fathers soul, for the grandparents soul, for the athletes soul" books scattered about my house back in brighton, untouched, unopened. awkward inscriptions still fresh inside; "now you can read a story and shed a tear and think of me!" ha. ..haa....

nah. no thanks.

on the topic of pictures, and cameras, and artwork. I've created Yet another blog, one to be used for final edits of photos, paintings, drawings, and stories. Maybe a song or two. I can't really decide what i want to devote my time to these days, so there'll be a bit of everything. i think. i hope.
Soooo that being said, if you are at all interested, please come have a look.

jesus christ.

this is so messed up.




Sarah Palin scares the shit out of me.

p.s.

thank you to all who have been reading and a special thanks to all the positive feedback i have received about this thing both directly and indirectly. aunt jo, kathie, karen, lisa, dr. M, just to name a few! thank you!

:)
now i'll go back to writing about my non-asian adventures! (you may want to stop here).

asian adventure closes....real world ensues

Happy september 11th!

Soooooo..... after 48 hours of travel, (seriously, 48 hours straight of airports and airplanes) we touched down in Toronto on the night of the 30th. I was pretty happy to be back.
After spending three days in Thailand.... i wasn't ready to get back to the regular toronto grind, but i wasn't too keen on staying in Beijing either. We spent about 7 hours in the Koh Samui airport (also known as the most beautiful outdoor airport in the world. i didn't get any pictures because i was too busy panicking over the fact that i might be delayed getting home by a whole day) on standby, I guess we thought that out of 21 flights heading to bangkok that day, we'd be able to get one one of them....what we didn't anticipate was the riot in Phuket, and all flights heading there being cancelled and subsequently switched to bangkok. Through some act of positive thinking or, as I like to consider , " my negative thinking", we got on the LAST flight at 10.30 pm. success.

I actually got some sleep on the 12 hour flight back to newark, and once i got there i had about two hours til home, and i was too excited to really care anyway!

Thailand was everything I imagined it to be and more. If you close your eyes and think about how Thailand's beaches SHOULD look, then you have the real thailand. It is a real life paradise. We spent our three and a half days there sitting on the beach drinking [600 mL 6.3 per cent alcohol] Beer Changs, eating really cheap delicious food getting sunburned beyond belief all the while thinking about renting jet-skis, going on a boat tour and taking an Elephant Ride to a waterfall. Of course, thats the extent of it, but it was wonderful nonetheless and now I owe my brother about a thousand dollars, but it was well worth it.

I was sick as hell during the closing ceremonies in Beijing and the whole way to Thailand. I laid in my bed alone watching the fireworks explode outside my window, watching gilmore girls (comfort television) dreaming of Thailand. I found that popping excessive amounts of Tylenol Extra Strength the whole way there really helped my case, although in the Bangkok airport the smell of the Thai food at 6 am was not working in my favour. I survived though, and literally minutes after i arrived in thailand (or minutes after i woke up after the three hour nap we both indulged in when we got there) i felt 100% better. Just as expected!

We thought there may have been an issue with my chinese visa (our return flights back to canada were from Beijing, so we had to return there from Thailand on the 30th) as i only had "1 entry", but somehow that all worked out, after i took a long cab right to the ministry of Entrances & Exits in Beijing to confirm.

It was amazing, especially now that I'm home and going to school and working and ah! it was just... pretty unbelievable. I was happy to spend it with brother adam, of all people too. Stuck in the Koh Samui air port while i sat there with the horrible look on my face, thinking about how I'm going to get home a day late, and i have to move, and start school, and ahhhh my life sucks, Adam graciously got up and walked back through security, to the standby desk every single hour for 7 hours, without asking me to do anything except stay positive. He'd walk back with a smile and say, "not this one! Theres a better chance for the next one though!" and take my negativity with a grain of salt. As it turns out, he was right! We did indeed get on the last flight, and i was given one of the many "told you so!" grins I've come to be so familiar with being the sourpuss that I am these days. Stay postiive!

I suppose that is why HE is the olympian and i am on my third go around at school.


ahahhahahahaha
oh siblings.

So, its over. all the build up, the trials, the anticipation for the past three and a half months. The preparation (on my parents part; i had it pretty easy needless to say), The thought about being at the Olympics, being in ASIA! going to thailand....

my only regret is choosing THIS SEPTEMBER to go to school. I'd still be in Thailand if not. or maybe not, considering all that shiat going on over there right now. talk about timing.

good job brother adam, and thanks for the amazing experience.


p.s. if anyone is thinking about going to Koh Samui, and would enjoy a "backpackers" experience, then please stay at Shambala! it is beautiful and so relaxing and delicious!